In which Puck channels his emotions
by kitty1010
Summary: So... Puck is back from Juvie, and dealing with his emotions re: everything in a Puck-like manner  until he actually takes Rachel's advice  which sparks the beginning of a beautiful friendship . Rated for Puck's language.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer - don't own glee, or the characters, but I do buy the songs on itunes… and I would love it if I got the dvds for Christmas

Song credit: You've got to hide your love away - the 'I am Sam' soundtrack version (written by Lennon/McCartney, sung by Eddie Vedder) - don't own it except on my ipod

A/N - I am a fanfic virgin, who totally crushes on Puck, so I hope I have done him justice… re-edited, hopefully it's a little easier to read now xK.

* * *

Puck found himself cornered at his locker by none other than Little Miss Sunshine and her sidekick Dumb'n'Dumber. Don't get him wrong, he was pretty stoked that Finn had let go of the shit that Puck pulled last year, but it was damned near impossible to overlook that the dude was seriously lacking in the brains department. A prime example of Finn's simple-status was standing right in front of him. Who the fuck in their right mind would sign up for Berry's brand of crazy on a fulltime basis?

"Noah," oh crap, there's that tone. It was like listening to his mother berate him for disappointing her, once again. Fuck's sake, you'd think the woman would expect nothing more by now, but no. She has faith that there's 'a good kid in there', going on about attitude and self-fulfilling prophecies and some shit.

"Noah!" she was demanding his attention now. He ran a hand over his newly reinstated Mohawk as he let out a huff of frustration

"What, Berry? If you're going to give me shit about missing glee then you can stop right there - I know, I don't care, and I'll be there later so you can catch me up on whatever I missed then…"

"Puck, dude. Just shut up, ok?" Finn looked uncomfortable.

"The fuck, man?" Now Puck was confused. These two were acting like somebody died, and while the dramatics are expected from miss 'I'm going to win a Tony before I am 20', Finn doesn't usually let it show that his stones have turned into ovaries since he hooked up with Berry.

"Noah, I - that is _we_ - thought you should know before you see, rather, that you should hear this from people who care about you, so you are prepared, that is, so no-one uses it to ridicule you…".

"Cut the verbal diarrhoea already, Berry. I stopped paying attention at _we_" Puck cut Rachel off, holding a hand up as though to stem the rapid flow of words which, so far, had made no sense. Why the fuck did she think people would… what did she say? Ridicule him? (Who even says shit like that?) He just got out of fucking juvie - that is some badass shit right there - what asswipe would be stupid enough to mess with the Puckerone after that?

"Quinn's dating Sam." Finn said it quickly, glancing up from the point on the floor he'd been focussed on to look into Puck's eyes. "You know, new guy, blonde, plays football…".

"I think he knows who Sam is, sweetie, you can stop now." Berry cut Finn off. "I - _we_ - were a little concerned how this turn of events may affect your emotional well-being, especially seeing as how you succumbed to depression over the summer, which was understandable considering the emotional turmoil you'd been experiencing, though when you proceeded to contend with it by indulging in criminal activity resulting in your incarceration, well, that was less reasonable and more imprudent…"

"What have prunes got to do with Puck being sad?" Finn was genuinely puzzled and he frowned down at his girlfriend.

"Not prunes, Finnykins, imprudence means he didn't think the consequences through…" Rachel was using her 'let me make this simple for you' voice.

Puck looked at the couple in front of him. "Back the truck up, Romeo and Juliet, I am not fucking depressed about anything - my life is fan-fucking-tastic right now. I can do _whatever_ and _whoever_ I want, _whenever_ I want to. Hold up - Quinn's what?" It was like he'd only just let that piece of information filter through his instinct to protect his macho pride. "She's dating someone? She said…" Puck stopped talking. Jesus, just hanging around these two and their stupid love-in was making him do stupid shit. Puck does not _talk_ about stuff, with _anyone_. His shit is _his_ shit to deal with - it always fucking has been.

Berry placed a hand on his arm. "Noah." Her voice was gentle, like she thinks he's going to break down or something. "I know you've had a shit time of it lately." Berry swearing? It must be the fucking apocalypse. "And I know you think you're a big man who doesn't need to talk to anyone about it."

Noah cut in "I don't need to fucking talk about it. It's all gravy, Berry, Q can _do_ whoever she wants. I'm _done_ with that shit." Berry was looking at him with those soft brown eyes like she can really fucking _see_ him, and fuck knows he's worked too hard to hide that shit for someone to screw it up for him now. "Seriously, I'm late for my nap in the nurse's office, so if you'll excuse me…"

"Noah," Berry wasn't finished yet. "When I have emotions I need to work through, I sing. Maybe that would help you - let you explore those feelings that I _know_ you are experiencing, even if you don't feel that you can admit to them…"

"Whatever, Berry, I'm outies" Noah was halfway down the corridor when he lashed out and punched the closest locker.

Later, Puck was running laps around the track with his ipod turned up to 'burst-my-fucking-eardrums' volume. He was sweaty as all fuck, and he would never admit it out loud, but he had finally reached a point where the physical pain is outweighing the emotional (seriously, if anyone else suggested this shit he would probably tear them a new one, but he knows he's 'projecting' - he's not fucking stupid. Plus he had mandatory counselling in juvie, so shut the fuck up).

In the change rooms, after Puck has run hard enough for long enough to want to hurl, he turned when he heard "Um, Puck?" There was Sam, looking nervous, and kind of squinting through his stupid fucking floppy fringe.

"What, dude?" Puck answered.

"I just wanted to say, I mean, I know Quinn was kind of your girl for a bit…"

"_Was_ being the operative word there, dude. You can do whatever you want - she's not mine to fucking give away. You want to deal with the head bitch - go fucking nuts." Puck slammed his locker shut and walked off, leaving Sam looking relieved at not being punched in the face or thrown in a dumpster.

Rachel was walking down the corridor on her way to glee club. She wanted to get there early so she could address some concerns with Mr Schuester regarding his song selections for their upcoming assembly. There's no way he could possibly expect her to step back and allow Santana to lead on two of the three numbers - it's as though gone back in time to when Mr Schuester delighted in taking her down a notch by refusing her a chance to shine… wait, who was that? Rachel stopped outside a practice room, where she could hear someone playing the guitar. There's still half an hour until glee - there's usually no-one here but her. When a voice started to sing Rachel stops thinking. It was Noah, and he sounded _broken_. Rachel knew he'd be angry if he discerned she had listened to him vent his private pain, so she stayed hidden, soaking up the raw emotion evident in Noah's singing…

_Here I stand head in hand_

_Turn my face to the wall_

_If she's gone I can't go on_

_Feeling two foot small_

_Everywhere people stare_

_Each and every day_

_I can see them laugh at me_

_And I hear them say_

_Hey, you've got to hide your love away_

_Hey, you've got to hide your love away_

_How can I even try?_

_I can never win_

_Hearing them, seeing them_

_In the state I'm in_

_How could she say to me_

'_Love will find a way'?_

_Gather round all you clowns_

_Let me hear you say_

_Hey, you've got to hide your love away_

_Hey, you've got to hide your love away_

When he stopped playing the guitar, and a choked sob sounded from in the room, Rachel couldn't hold herself back. She almost ran up to Puck, wrapped her arms around him and willed him to recognise that while she was going to let him _cry_ she wouldn't let him _break _- she would be there to help him get it back together.

Puck sat there on the music stool, with Berry's midget fucking arms holding him, and damned if he didn't feel a bit better. He drew a deep, steadying breathe. "Alert the fucking media, Berry. I think you were right. It did help." Rachel's eyes lit up with the smile she gave him. Puck didn't want her to think he'd gone completely soft. "But if you fucking say _anything_ to _anyone_, even captain Finn-tastic, I'll have to give Jew-fro your cell phone number".

Rachel's look turned to horror "Noah, you wouldn't?"

Puck walked to the door, guitar in hand. "Try me. Now hurry the fuck up or we're going to be late".


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Had a few ideas for fleshing out how Noah and Rachel became such good friends (in my universe), so am extending on this story. My other story is more about how they end up together - same universe but a sequel, if you are interested, it's there… This one is over the course of a Friday, not too long after the previous chapter.

Disclaimer: Glee is not mine, sucks to be me.

* * *

"Good morning, Noah. I do hope you completed the trigonometry homework assigned to us yesterday?" Rachel was impeccably dressed, as always (if you like the short skirts and knee socks look), and her sunny smile was bright enough to make Puck squint a little and scrub a hand over his mohawked head.

"The fuck, Berry. Do you mainline coffee or something? The perky McHappy attitude is obscene this early in the morning." He watched as Rachel's smile faltered almost imperceptibly. '_Oh fuck'._ He waited for the verbal barbs to spew forth, but there weren't any. Rachel simply tossed her hair over one shoulder.

"I suppose if you had trouble with the problems I could go over it with you before class. I was going to reorganise the sheet music in the practice room so that it was chronological as well as alphabetical, but these philistines would likely not notice nor appreciate the effort." Rachel looked at him, eyebrows raised.

'_Fuck, did she ask me a question?'_ "Uh, sure?" Puck figured it was safer to agree with Berry, since they'd been engaged in a kind of cease-fire lately.

"Splendid." Rachel linked her arm through Pucks and steered him down the hall towards their math class (which, since Juvie, he had actually been attending - he sure as hell wasn't going to end up a deadbeat nobody after seeing that shit first hand) chatting relentlessly about Pythagoras theorem and pi. Puck was surprised that he knew one was to do with triangles and the other circles.

* * *

Puck was last to leave the classroom after English. He wasn't looking where he was going when he turned into the corridor, and so he couldn't avoid running into midget fucking Berry. The collision knocked her to the ground, and scattered the notes she'd been reading. "Shit Berry, you can't just sneak up on someone like that!"

"I was in front of you, Noah. You are obviously losing your _badass"_

(Noah grinned)

"touch if I can sneak up on you from the front…" Rachel stood after gathering the rogue papers. She held them in one hand, and grasped Pucks elbow with the other. "I need you to keep me company during lunch, Noah. Finn has a catch-up session with his History tutor."

"I had plans for lunch, Berry" Yeah, he did. They involved sitting in his truck by himself listening to Audioslave.

"Mmm, so did I, but fortunes have changed, decreeing we dine together today." Rachel sounded way too happy to be hanging out with him.

"Why can't you sit with the rest of the Gleeks, Berry?" Puck was still looking for a way out of lunch. He was used to his quiet lunches where he could reflect (it's not fucking sulking, okay?) and be pissed off on his own.

"Tina and Mike are too busy being all loved up - which is rather cute, don't you think? Mercedes, Kurt, Quinn and Sam have study hall after, so they are forsaking their studies and going to see that new Katherine Heigl movie. Brittany and Santana are _making up_, or in other words, making out. And Artie _is _Finn's history tutor. Leaving me and you to face the cafeteria throng together." The smile Rachel shot him as she finished her speech drove any intention of turning her down from Puck's mind.

"Screw it, let's go then." He felt a brief squeeze, and then Rachel released his arm as they walked side by side down the hallway.

* * *

"Noah?" Rachel was standing next to his locker, her trolley bag resting at her feet. "What are your plans for this evening?"

"Are you asking me out Berry? 'Cause I am flattered - but your boyfriend might kick up a shit…" Puck smirked, and raised one eyebrow as he turned to face Rachel, nudging his locker closed with his shoulder.

"Noah. I am going to pretend you didn't say that. It's unbecoming of you as a gentleman to make such a suggestion."

'_Ha! Berry totally just said coming… wait, why didn't I say that out loud? It's fully funny shit. Well, it was when it was spontaneous - how do I even know what that means? Fuck…'_

"I understand through the Jewish grapevine that you are grounded and thus unable to attend the gathering of jocks and Cheerios at Santana's this evening. I thought Finn and I could join you at your home for some pizza and video games." Rachel didn't notice that Noah wasn't really paying attention. He heard the last part, though.

"Just invite yourselves over why don't you Berry?" Noah's slightly petulant tone was offset with a smirk.

"Well, I did go out to a games store and pick up something new for you boys to try, the sales assistant seemed to think you would appreciate it…" Rachel reached into her bag and pulled out 'God of War 3' as she spoke.

"Fuck yeah, Berry! You surprise me!" Noah couldn't believe Rachel had bought the game for him and Finn; what was she going to do while they beat down a path of fury?

It was as though Rachel could read his mind. "I have some reading to do. I can keep myself entertained while you boys have fun…"

Just then, Finn bounced up, throwing one arm around Rachel's shoulders, the other arm around Puck's. "How cool is _she_? Did Rach show you the game yet? Tonight's gonna be awesome…"

* * *

"Dude is seriously fucking asleep." Puck didn't take his eyes off the screen as he addressed Rachel, sitting to his left in an arm chair.

"Oh, really? He must be exhausted - it's not that late…" Rachel put her book down and watched Noah playing shoot 'em ups for a few minutes. He threw the controller in front of him.

"Sucks playing by yourself." Rachel wasn't sure that she was meant to hear that.

"Have you got anything less gratuitously violent? You could show me how to play?" Rachel offered, thinking '_not that I even know which way the controller goes'_.

Puck looked up at Rachel, "yeah, why not. Sit down here, though. Cord doesn't reach that far." He leant forward and pulled a game out of the pile in front of the tv. "Motorstorm? It's racing, you can crash but that's as violent as it gets."

* * *

"I can't believe how much you fucking suck at this Berry." Puck shook his head, "for shame!"

"Shut it Puckerman. I have been playing for all of an hour! I will get better and I will kick your ass!" Rachel really didn't like losing.

"You said ass!" Puck yelled, smirking at her.

"Dudes, what the hell? You totally let me go to sleep…" the sledging and trash talk back and forth had gotten so loud it had woken Finn. "Shit, Rach, you have to home soon, we'd better go. Sorry, dude." That was to Puck.

"'S all good, man, your girlfriends been entertaining me with how much she _sucks_!" Puck was still laughing.

"Yeah, well, next time, Noah," Rachel shot back "I am going to pick the game, and it will be _on_ like Donkey Kong!"

As they walked out to Finn's car, Finn asked "how do you even know what that means?"

"Noah said it earlier, I gather it is a challenge of sorts."


	3. Chapter 3

"Noah, it has come to my attention that you and I share a study hall during third period. Why do I not see you there?" Rachel stood in front of Puck in the choir room, with a hand on her hip.

"The fuck, Berry? You got my roster memorised now, too?" It had been a long day, and Puck still had to go home and mow the lawns for his mom before doing at least some of the homework he'd gotten today. So yeah, he was being a douche.

"Oh, Noah" Rachel sighed, "I know you don't really mean them, but your persistent disparaging remarks can be a little repellent."

Puck felt bad. Berry was good to him, despite what an ass he had been (was still, sometimes). "Sorry, long day. Shouldn't take it out on you."

"Hmm. So, study hall? Where are you?" Rachel wasn't going to let it go, and it wasn't like it was a big deal. He'd stopped sulking in his truck and listening to angst-y music weeks ago.

"I run, Berry. Down at the track. I just… run." Noah turned to walk away, and Rachel watched him go, a small frown evident on her face.

* * *

Puck pulled his sweater off over his head, throwing it onto the pile of his belongings in his locker. He grabbed his water bottle, and headed out onto the track. Somebody was already out there, by the bleachers. Somebody tiny, with brown hair and legs up to…. "Berry? The fuck?" Noah rubbed his forehead.

"I hope you don't mind, Noah. I realised that while my elliptical workout is effective, it is hardly the same as running. And you run a lot, so there must be something about it that I am missing. So, I figured, maybe, I could join you and see what the big deal is…" Rachel was rambling. She was a little nervous, like maybe she was stepping too far into Noah's comfort zone. She just really didn't want him to retreat back into himself. She liked the Noah who would talk to her and Finn, who was her friend. She didn't want to give him too much alone time, because honestly? He wasn't such a good friend to himself, and he was always a little bit quieter when he came back after being on his own.

Rachel bounced on her toes, her ponytail swinging as she reached her arms above her head and stretched to each side. She was wearing spotless white running shoes with glittery gold swoops up the sides, short navy running shorts and a white tank top. "Come on, Noah, you have to warm up properly or you may do yourself an injury" Rachel's tone screamed _lecture_ but the beaming smile she cast on Noah spoke volumes.

"Are you seriously excited about running, Berry?" Noah smirked. "And you think you're going to be able to keep up?"

"Absolutely, I am at the peak of my physical fitness." Rachel was confident she could run a few miles without lagging too much.

Noah actually chuckled. "We'll see, Berry." He started running.

* * *

Rachel's breath was uneven, coming in huffs as she called ahead "Well, it's definitely - not - the - elliptical"

"If you can talk, you're not fucking running hard enough!" was Puck's response.

* * *

"Last lap, Berry… loser buys lunch!" Puck increased his speed, impressed when Rachel, despite her laboured breathing and flushed cheeks, sped up as well. He could see her doing something out of the corner of his eye, and he turned when a flash of white went past his head. "The fuck, Berry?"

Rachel had stripped her tank top and was running in just short-shorts and a crop top. Puck slowed without realising it, watching her run ahead of him.

"Distraction technique, Noah! And, I win!" Rachel threw herself on the ground, lying on her back with her knees bent, and an arm over her eyes. She could tell when Noah approached; a shadow blotted out the sun.

"That was cheating, Berry, my _badassness_ is totally rubbing off on you! I am proud... And buying you lunch is so worth seeing you run half naked." Puck smirked before offering Rachel a hand up.

"Oh, haha. Coming from the guy who showers in a room with twenty other boys? You'd see more skin in there than out here any day… Hurry up!" Rachel looked back at where Noah had stopped. "I'm hungry!"


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: This is more Finn / Puck (F + uck? lol, too much Puck in my head). Let me know what you think - good? Bad? I am going to try and finish the next chapter in my other story this weekend, too...

* * *

Ten am on a fucking Sunday, and some douche was leaning on his fucking doorbell. Puck pulled his pillow over his face, but when the shrill ringing didn't stop, and the insistent knocking started, he threw it across the room. Fuck! His mom and sister had been planning a shopping day at the mall; he knew they would have left already, which left him to answer the door.

"Fuuuuccckkk!" he pulled on a pair of sweats and put on his best 'pissed-off' face as he threw the door open.

"Bro! 'Sup?" Fucking Finnessa, wide awake and bouncy as fuck, pushed past Puck to come inside.

"Uh, I was _sleeping_ that's what's fucking _up_…" Puck headed for the kitchen - he needed a java hit, and he needed it five fucking minutes ago.

"Dude, c'mon. You can sleep the day away, _or_ you can hang with me. No contest, right?" Finn followed Puck, thieving a couple of poptarts out of the pantry and dropping them in the toaster.

"Where's Berry?" It was unusual for Puck to see one of 'Finnchel' without the other.

"Ballet shit. Not my thing, she went with Kurt." Finn had found the orange juice in the fridge, and poured himself a glass. "So, you wanna go shoot some hoops? Get some practice in before the season starts?"

Puck thought better of calling Finn out on the 'ballet shit'. Like Puck knew anything about how relationships fucking work, anyway.

"Yeah, alright". He threw back the rest of his coffee as he seized a clean wife beater from the basket on the couch. His sneakers were by the door and he slipped them on, grabbing his house keys off the hook.

"Dude" Finn handed Puck one of the poptarts.

* * *

It wasn't a very warm day, but Puck was still sweating as he and Finn played one on one at the courts down by their old elementary school. The hoop was just like he remembered it - a little bent out of shape, and rusty as all fuck. They had spent a shitload of time down at the courts when Pucks dad fucked off. The rhythmic thumping of the basketball on the asphalt was only interrupted by the occasional 'he's a dick, anyway' and 'who needs him'.

"Shit's all fucked up, sometimes." Puck couldn't bring himself to just say 'I'm still sorry I fucked your girlfriend'. Even though he'd already apologised, and it was all good (sort of, usually), the thing on his mind lately was Beth. And by default, Quinn. And Finn.

"Yeah. But it works out mostly." They hadn't been friends for so long without developing an understanding of how the other's mind worked (and that's not fucking gay!). Finn shot the ball in a graceful arc towards the hoop, watching as it rolled around the rim twice before falling through.

"Just sucks." Puck stood on the free throw line, dribbling the ball. "Y'know?"

Finn looked at Puck. Puck was looking at the ball, studiously avoiding his gaze. "Kind of, I think. I mean, in the end… just 'cause something's right doesn't mean it'll be easy…"

"Fuck, dude, that's deep!" Puck lightened the mood with a (forced) chuckle as he smirked at his friend.

"Yeah, well, we all know my girlfriend talks a lot… I guess some of it sinks in." Finn laughed.

* * *

They walked past the 7-11 on the way home, picking up a couple of slushies and a box of twinkies. "I borrowed 'Black Ops' from Jewfro yesterday, keen?" Puck didn't really want to spend the afternoon by himself - he was kind of used to hanging out with Finn and Berry now.

"Uh huh, _borrowed_… bet he was happy 'bout that." Finn laughed at the mental image of Puck harassing the creep who kept bothering Rachel. "Nice, yeah, I'm in".

They walked the rest of the way in relative silence, punctuated every so often with a comment about homework, football or glee. Puck could tell Finn had something on his mind - they'd been friends for fucking ever (until he'd fucked it up, but Puck thought that was ok now). As gay as it sounded, Puck knew Finn's 'thinking' face (it involved a lot of frowning and cringing - like he was in pain). It wasn't until the two boys were settled on bean bags in front of the tv and shooting up a storm in the snowy mountains of Russia that Finn spoke.

"Sometimes, you know, it's like - shit, can't I just be in high school? I don't know why we have to make everything so complicated." Finn kept his eyes on the screen while Puck raised an eyebrow, waiting for Finn to continue.

"I mean, who really knows where we're gonna be at in a few years? They're all like, take this class to do this, and I'm like, who said I wanted to do that?" Puck had both eyebrows raised. This was a major Finn crisis, and rather than laugh and call him a pussy, Puck tried to figure out what would help.

"As for relationships…. Geez. I'm seventeen. It's not like people actually meet their soul-mates at highschool. If girls'd just tell us what the hell they wanted, it would be a shitload easier." Finn was having a full on vent now. Puck figured the 'ballet shit' from earlier was a precursor to what he was hearing now.

"So, you and Berry having issues?" Pucks voice wasn't as neutral as he would have liked, but Finn didn't seem to notice. "I mean, I thought you were, like, endgame?"

"Urgh, I don't know. I just have so much going on, y'know? School and extra school, and football, and glee, and then mom and Mr Hummel, and Rachel on top of everything… she's awesome, but she's hard work…" Finn blew the head off one of the approaching Nazi zombies. "It's been different, lately. I thought it was 'cause I wasn't being romantic or whatever, but when I tried she told me to make sure I was putting my energy where it was needed… what does that even mean?" Finn turned to Puck and proceeded to get blown to bits by a stealthy Russian spy.

"Fucked if I know dude. Me and relationships? Hardly a fucking expert. But I guess… she just knows how busy you are? Knows you have shit to do, and she wants you to do well, so? 'Cause you know Berry cares about you, right?" Puck felt like such a fucking girl. But Finn was his bro, and he hated to see him worked up over shit.

"Yeah, I know. Oh, hey, she's cooking at her place tonight, and getting a dvd on her way home" Finn's tone was more relaxed as he changed the subject. "You wanna come 'round? She said to ask you. Kurt's staying as well, you can help me balance the girly shit."

"Yeah, alright, mom's not working so I should be free." The two boys refocused their efforts on the video game in front of them.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: an angsty frame of mind today, people…

* * *

"You know what, Noah? For someone who doesn't want to be like his father, you're doing a _damned_ good job of acting _just_ like him!"

It was like everything was moving in slow motion; Noah watched his mother's mouth moving - he heard the words she spat at him. Through the slight haze of drunkenness he absorbed their meaning. The confirmation of all the shit things he thought to himself, about himself, from his _mother_ was like a slap to the face. He turned and walked back out the door he'd just come through into the cool night air. He ignored his truck - he wasn't so stupid as to drive after drinking (not anymore, anyway) and walked down the street, his hands jammed in his pockets. He didn't realise where he was going until he got there.

Noah pulled out his phone, pressing '2' and 'call' to speed dial "Berry, can you let me in? Please" he breathed out the last word, with a hitch in his voice so uncharacteristic of Puck, the self-professed badass. Rachel didn't actually answer, but he heard the door being unlocked, saw it open, saw Rachel standing there illuminated by the porch light.

"Noah? Come on, but shh. My dads are asleep." She took him by the hand, but he pulled away. He felt tainted and he couldn't bear to inflict himself upon her right now. He turned, mumbling apologies, as though to leave. "Noah, please, come in. Tell me what's wrong?"

Rachel was a little bit frightened of the dullness in Noah's eyes. His beautiful, expressive hazel-green eyes were like windows into his innermost thoughts and moods - and tonight they were as soulless as she'd ever seen them. She recalled the early days following Beth's birth and adoption. Though those days saw her falling apart too (over her own issues), Rachel had recognised the self-denigration in Noah's expression that she'd seen back then in both him and herself.

"Do you need anything? Water? Something to eat? Are you cold?" The questions meant nothing to either of them. It was just Rachel, thinking aloud, as she usually did (any other time he would remind her to turn her shit-filter on). His lack of response only heightened Rachel's alarm.

Rachel did the only thing she could think to do - the only thing it made sense to do - to try and alleviate the emotional turmoil she sensed emanating from the man before her. She drew him into an embrace. She wrapped her arms around his solid frame, resting her head against his chest. The thumb of her right hand moved in tiny circles against his shirt, her breath was deep and even.

Noah could feel her solid heartbeat thumping against his stomach. He dropped his head to hers and began to cry. Not soft whimpers, but great heaving sobs that racked his body. He sank to the ground (taking her with him), clinging, his arms enveloping her slight body. And he just cried.

When his breathing slowed, and his grip on her relaxed, Rachel leaned back a little and looked at Noah. She cupped his face in her hands. "You are a good man, Noah Puckerman. You are." She fixed her chocolate brown eyes on his, and wiped the last, lingering tears with the pads of her thumbs. "Come inside." She dropped her hands to his and made to pull him to his feet.

"Rach…" His voice was different, _swollen_ almost - definitely huskier than usual. "I am just like him. I _am_ him. _I am him…_" he broke off with a harsh whisper.

Rachel spoke with what seemed like a sixth sense "You, Noah, are not your father. You care, and you want more for yourself than that - and you have it all within your reach, you do - you know? I hope you know it. I know it, and I'm going to keep saying it until you believe it." She caressed his face, her eyes never leaving his. "Please, just come in. You look… tired."

Rachel waited with baited breath. He didn't just look tired, he looked crushed. He looked worn and abused and defeated. Rachel worried what he would do if he didn't come with her. Noah was in pain, and she was concerned about him. Every time he shut down on her, she felt as though she was losing him again to the depression, the self-loathing that had followed Beth's birth.

Noah struggled to his feet, and accepted the hand held out to him. There was a moment of doubt, of thinking 'she's given me so much and what do I have to give her in return?' before the smile that flashed across her face, her evident relief, erased all of his qualms and Noah walked through the door with Rachel.

Rachel lead him by them hand up the stairs to her bedroom, where she helped him remove him shoes and his hoody, before guiding him to her bed. She curled her small, star patterned pyjama-clad body around his under the warmth of her quilt. Her head resting next to his on the pillow, she whispered "you are a good man, Noah, and no matter what anyone says, I will be here for you whenever you need me to be. No matter what. You are my friend, and I love you."

Noah slept more peacefully that night than he had in months.


	6. Chapter 6

Noah woke to find Rachel curled in beside him, her head resting on his chest. He moved slowly and smoothly, sliding out of her bed carefully so as not to wake her. He checked his phone. 11.30. Shit, he'd slept late! Probably the restless nights catching up with him, plus it was pretty late when he'd turned up here last night. He looked down at the sleeping girl, wondering (not for the first time) what he'd done to deserve a friend like Rachel. He scrubbed a hand over his face, and turned his neck to the side 'til he heard the _crack_. Fuck, he needed coffee, and something to eat.

"Rach. Rach?" he poked her shoulder "are your dads' home?"

"Mmmm? Nah, should be at work…" Rachel rolled over and went back to sleep.

With that, Noah headed for the kitchen. He'd been here enough times to know where the coffee was kept, and figured he could raid the fridge for some lunch. He walked in and walked straight into Rachel's dad.

"Mr Berry?" _Shit_. Last thing he needed was for Rachel's dads' to be pissed at him.

"Oh, hi Noah? What are you doing here? You weren't here when I went to bed?" Rachel's dad looked confused.

"Uh, no. I was… I had a fight with my mom, I needed someone to talk to… and y'know, Rachel's pretty much…" Noah wasn't even sure what he was trying to say, but Mr Berry seemed to understand. Noah shouldn't have worried; really, Rachel's dads' were cool. He should've known they wouldn't be too fazed.

"Next time, may I suggest the spare room?" Mr Berry offered a salute with his coffee mug and wandered down the hall, shutting his office door behind him.

Noah breathed a sigh of relief as he realised he wasn't going to be banished from the Berry homestead, and turned to the coffee pot. After pouring a mug for himself and Rachel, he carefully navigated the stairs back to her room.

"Rach, wake up… I brought you coffee" He place her mug on the bedside table and took a seat at the desk. "I ran into your dad downstairs…"

That woke her up. "What? Oh my gosh, what did he say? Did he freak out - oh, no, you're still here…"

"Basically it came down to 'next time don't sleep in her room', so I think its ok" Noah met Rachel's surprised gaze. "I know, the fuck, right? But hey, I'm good with that - I thought he would throw me out or some shit. Fuck, I would."

"Noah, stop it. We both know my dads' like you, and they know we are friends. I guess they trust me - I haven't done anything to make them feel otherwise." She took a breath. "Anyway, thank you for the coffee. I cannot believe we slept this late - I never sleep past six!"

She looked over at Noah. He was framed by the window, the glaring sunlight from outside casting his face into shadow. "How are you feeling this morning, Noah?" she asked, gently.

"Y'know, I'm sweet… I was just, whatever. Thanks, for last night, Rach. I just needed… y'know." It was hard for Noah to articulate emotions. He had never really had it modelled for him. His parents had never been demonstrative towards him or each other, unless it was to express anger, frustration and disappointment. He was taught at a young age that men were strong, and emotions were not part of that strength. As much as his mom tried to make up for it after his dad left, a lot of the time she withdrew back into herself. The discontinuity was confusing more than anything else - he never really knew if he was going to encounter nice mom or bitch mom. It left him on edge, wary, ready to fight back if he needed to…

"Come here." Rachel pushed the covers back and patted the bed next to her. She wrapped her arm around his waist and pulled him close. Noah rested his arm across her shoulders, closing his eyes and soaking up the calm that Rachel was exuding.

"You are my best friend, Noah, and I love you to bits. No matter what, I will always be here for you. You can count on me, ok?" Rachel looked up with her chocolate brown eyes shining and kissed him, quickly, on the cheek before snuggling her head back into his chest.

If it wasn't so fucking pussy Noah thought he would probably cry; as it was he had to clear his throat before he spoke. "Love you too, Rach".


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N **- Sorry if you got another alert - this is the same as before, except I had to fix the performance bit (it did a wierd thing and ran it all together when I published). Hopefully it makes better sense now - and won't drive me nuts anymore :)

* * *

"Alright, guys, let's settle down!" Mr Schu clapped his hands together, as he stood in front of the assembled glee club in the choir room. Chairs scraped and bags were shuffled as the kids turned to face their teacher. Phones were slipped back into pockets, and whispered conversations silenced.

Mr Schu cast his eye across the group of miscreants and misfits he was proud to consider part of his family. There was Artie, still fingering chords on the fretboard of his unplugged electric guitar. Next to him sat Santana and Brittany, pinkies linked, looking a little bored while Rachel, ever ready for the business of making music, had Finn on one side and Puck on the other. Mr Schu shook his head when he saw Puck reach behind Rachel to smack Finn on the back of the head. Mike had Tina sitting next to him, her head resting on his shoulder, and he was playing with her hair; Mercedes and Kurt had been last to put their cellphones away, they were busy comparing something on the screens before he'd called them to attention. Quinn was sitting with her back straight, ankles crossed, looking every inch the dogmatic yet decorous head Cheerio, and beside her was Sam, with an arm draped across Quinn's shoulders.

"We've been asked if we would perform a number in an assembly later this week. I know it's short notice, but Sue has pulled her Cheerios at the last minute"

Santana cut in "Yeah, she didn't appreciate our efforts at practice, so she's cancelled everything until we stop making her want to burn her eyes out with the napalm she's mixed up in her bathroom."

"So" Schu regained the attention of the group "I was thinking we should do something that showcases everyones' talents - a real group performance, up beat, easy to move to..."

"I have an idea" Rachel raised her hand and bounced a bit on her seat. "I have a song in mind that would, I believe, be an adequate platform with which to demonstrate not only our collective talent but also the sense of camaraderie that has evolved within glee club."

Rachel's oratory deluge was met with blank stares.

"She means she knows a good song for us to show how much we kick ass, and how much fun glee can be" Puck translated.

"Oh" a collective sigh of understanding followed.

Rachel shook her head at her teammates' decided lack in vocabulatory knowledge as she moved to front of the room. "I have been working on an arrangement for this particular track with Regionals in mind, I imagine it with a very loose dance routine. Similar to our funk number - I'm sure Brittany and Mike will be more than capable of pointing us in the right direction." She turned to the ipod dock and plugged in her pink bedazzled shuffle. "Shall we listen? See what you think? Unless, someone else has an idea, of course."

She looked at her friends, who were shaking their heads.

"Nah, Rach, we wanna hear what you got" Puck gestured for her to continue.

Rachel pushed play and the twang of guitar rang out through the room.

* * *

When the song faded away there were smiles on faces; feet had been tapping and Mike and Brittany had started to block out some choreography ideas. The mood was light and positive. Mr Schu grinned at his kids. "I think we have a song!" he proclaimed. "Rachel, if you want to bring in what you've been working on for the vocals -"

"Oh, it's not finished yet, Mr Schuester..." Rachel interjected.

Puck offered "I'll come over later, we can work it out together".

Finn glanced at them "Yeah, I'm better at the music side of it anyway."

"So," Mr Schu summed up "we'll have parts tomorrow, and we can start running through it with basic moves".

"Don't forget costumes" Kurt stepped forward "I'm thinking not so matchy-matchy, more following a theme."

"Easy to move in, too - we want to work it on the dance floor. Let's hit the mall for inspiration" Mercedes was excited about the prospect of shopping with her favourite diva, and had pulled out a notebook on which she was scribbling ideas.

There was a buzz of activity as they listened to the song again, some starting to follow the lead of Mike and Brittany. Artie was drawn in to discussions of lighting as Rachel shared some of her vision for the final product, and Sam and Finn talked to the band members.

Mr Schu watched the scene before him. The glee club was operating as a cohesive unit, utilising individual strengths and supporting one another - he'd never been more proud of them. Even when they'd pulled off mammoth performances in competition their team unity had never been this assured.

* * *

Noah and Rachel sat on the floor in her bedroom, with paper strewn around them. "See, I've broken it up to give everybody a part, I was just struggling a little with the balance of the harmony in the chorus..."

Noah picked up a pencil and started to mark out notes on the score in front of him. "I think we want to keep it simple for now - really follow what the original did. I mean, we can jazz it up later if we want to use it for a competition."

"You're right. The neanderthals at school wouldn't appreciate musical genius if it bit them on the ass, anyway" Rachel was muttering to herself, and Noah cracked up.

"You said ass!"

Rachel stuck her tongue out at the mohawked boy next to her. "If I did, it is only because you've been such a detrimental influence" she replied haughtily.

"You so said ass... love it. Kinda hot, actually..." Noah smirked and raised an eyebrow in Rachel's direction.

"Oh shut up!" she hit him with the sheaf of paper in her hand, and he pretended to duck for cover behind her bed.

"Argh! Berry's gonna get me with her music scores! Save me daddies Berry! Help!" Noah was yelling, with his hands over his head.

"They aren't even home, you - infant! Get back here and help me, or I won't let you stay for pizza later." Rachel's words were exasperated, but her tone was laughing as she berated Noah.

"Is it vegan pizza?" Noah asked, peering from behind the bed.

"Mine will be, however I had intended to order you a slab of murderous byproduct covered goodness." Rachel was stacking the papers they'd knocked flying when the horseplay had broken out.

"Oooh, yum. Murderous byproduct. My favourite."

* * *

The group was gathered backstage waiting for Mr Figgins to announce their performance. Rachel looked around at her friends, with their last minute primping. She laughed at Kurt in his skin tight skinny jeans and shot silver shirt, poofing Mercedes' silver tunic around her wide belt, which she wore with dark denim capris. The Cheerio trio had amped it up in low riding skinnies (Brittany's were bedazzled, of course) and midriff bearing black tank tops, while Sam and Noah sported black wifebeaters and looser fitting jeans. Mike looked amazing in his dark denims and black shirt combo, set off with silver suspenders, which Tina's ensemble (black shirt and silver tulle trimmed denim skirt) was obviously intended to match. Artie had been set upon by the Cheerios, and as a result he had tighter fitting jeans than he usually wore, and a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up to show silver pin-striped lining. Finn had a black fitted tshirt and dark straight leg denims, while Rachel herself had worn denim short-shorts with a black puff sleeved tshirt with a cropped sparkly silver vest over the top (Kurt had found her the vest while on his shopping mission, and she had to admit it was very cute).

Rachel called the club into a huddle. "As co-captain of the glee club" there were mock groans from her friends "ahem! As I was saying, as co-captain of glee club, I want to thank you all for your dedication and input into glee. As your friend, I want to say, let's get out there and give this school a great big 'fuck you'!"

The gasp of her friends was hilarious. "What?" Rachel asked "Was that not an appropriate use of the f-bomb?"

"That was epic, babe!" Noah was first to recover. "Right, hands in the middle - and 'fuck you' on three! One, two, three..."

"FUCK YOU!"

* * *

"Now, can you join me in welcoming New Directions to the stage, as they perform for us today" Mr Figgins called over the sound system, as the curtains drew back and the music started.

**Tina:** Right, right, turn off the lights_ (Tina strutted down the centre of the stage, as the spotlight hit her.)_  
We're gonna lose our minds tonight  
What's the dealio?_ (She struck a pose off to the side a bit, and looked back to Quinn.)  
_  
**Quinn:** I love when it's all too much_ (It was Quinn's turn to strut in the spotlight)_  
5am turn the radio up  
Where's the rock 'n roll?_ (Before busting out some air guitar moves.)_

**Artie:** Party crasher, panty snatcher _(Artie rolled out from side of stage)_  
Call me up if you're a gangsta _(and mimicked talking on the phone)_

**Santana:** Don't be fancy, just get dancy_ (Santana hit centre stage and dropped her butt to the floor in a provocative move)_  
Why so serious? _(before doing a slow body roll til she was standing again)  
_

**Rachel:** So raise your glass if you are wrong_ (Rachel threw her arms in the air)  
_In all the right ways, all my underdogs (_before gesturing to the crowd od students in the auditorium)_  
We will never be, never be anything but loud  
And nitty gritty, dirty little freaks_ (She held her arms out to encompass the whole glee club who stepped forward to join her)_

**All: **Won't you come on and come on and  
Raise your glass!_ (It was a bit freestyle here, but everyone threw their arms up for the 'raise your glass' bits)_  
Just come on and come on and  
Raise your glass!

**Noah:** Slam, slam, oh hot damn_ (Noah was channeling his inner gangster again, posturing and flexing)_  
What part of a party don't you understand?  
Wish you'd just freak out_ (He walked towards Rachel and circled her) _

**Mike:** Freak out already (_Mike was a non-stop pop and lock machine throught the whole routine)_

**Finn:** Can't stop, coming in hot  
I should be locked up right on the spot_ (Finn had obviously been taking dance tips from Puck, he was Finny D again)_  
It's so on right now_ (He pointed at Rachel and winked)_

**Mike:** It's so freaking on right now

**Sam:** Party crasher, penny snatcher_ (Sam was dancing with Quinn, he held with her back to him)_  
Call me up if you're a gangsta_ (and made a phone from his fingers for her to 'talk' into)_

**Kurt:** Don't be fancy, just get dancy (_Kurt made his way over to Rachel and held out his hand)_  
Why so serious?

**Kurt and Rachel:** So raise your glass if you are wrong  
In all the right ways, all my underdogs_ (The two friends faced each other as they belted out the chorus)_  
We will never be, never be anything but loud  
And nitty gritty, dirty little freaks

**Noah:** Won't you come on and come on and

**All:** Raise your glass!_ (The whole glee club were punching the air in time to the lyrics as they sang)_

**Sam:** Just come on and come on and

**All:** Raise your glass!

**Finn:** Won't you come on and come on and

**All:** Raise your glass!

**Artie:** Just come on and come on and

**All:** Raise your glass!

**Brittany:** Oh what? My glass is empty_(The spotlight hit Brittany__)  
_That sucks!

**Mercedes:** So if you're too school for cool (_Mercedes stepped forward)_  
And you're treated like a fool

**Santana:** You're treated like a fool

**Mercedes:** You can choose to let it go  
We can always, we can always party on our own_ (She ran back to join her friends)_

**Brittany:** So raise your (oh, what?)

**Rachel and Noah:** So raise your glass if you are wrong_ (Noah came to Rachel's side as they sang together)_  
In all the right ways, all my underdogs  
_  
_**Rachel and Kurt:** We will never be,_ (Kurt took Rachel's hand and turned her to face him)  
_never be anything but loud  
And nitty gritty, dirty little freaks

**All:** So raise your glass if you are wrong_ (The routine now focused on the dancing talents of Brittany and Mike)_  
In all the right ways, all my underdogs (_The others freestyled with the people beside them as they got into what they were singing) _  
We will never be, never be anything but loud  
And nitty gritty, dirty little freaks

**Quinn: **Won't you come on and come on and

**All:** Raise your glass!

**Tina:** Just come on and come on and

**All:** Raise your glass!

**Santana:** Won't you come on and come on and

**All:** Raise your glass for me!  
Just come on and come on and  
Raise your glass for me.

As the auditorium exploded with catcalls and applause Rachel threw her arms around Noah "That was awesome!". Noah hesitated (almost imperceptibly) before drawing her into a hug.

"It was awesome, Berry."

* * *

**Song credit **(not mine except on my ipod) Raise Your Glass, by Pink - official video is on youtube

**A/N** This may be the end of _In which Puck channels his emotions _but there is a sequel! (Which is also completed!) So if you haven't checked out _In which Rachel does something badass_ yet, I think you should (especially if you've been wanting this story to turn PR-coupley).

I have an M rated WIP happening (first 2 chapters are up), and I am messing around with a song-fic which is meant to be done by New Years, so keep in touch yeah? :) Plus, if you have any plot bunnies you want to share, I'd love to give them a go...

AND Happy Holidays!


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